Leadership Profile: Delisa Abraham

Introducing Delisa

Delisa Abraham is a business development and leadership coach with a unique approach. Often asked, "What does leadership mean?" or "Aren't I already a leader?" she explains that her work goes beyond surface-level leadership. She specializes in dissecting team dynamics, improving communication, and fostering effective team building. Her expertise stems from nearly 14 years of military service, where she led teams, taught leadership, and managed diverse personalities that needed to collaborate.

Transitioning from military to civilian life presented its own challenges. While leadership principles remained the same, the stakes in the military were different. Civilian leadership required her to adjust her communication style and approach, blending both worlds. This evolution shaped her method of coaching, offering clients a wealth of experience and practical learning.

What does leadership mean to you?

Leadership means being able to lead yourself, to be aligned with yourself, and to know yourself. I’ll keep it simple—leadership, to me, is as Shakespeare says, "To thine own self be true." That, for me, is leadership. Once you can lead yourself, it becomes easier to lead those in your sphere of influence—whether it's your team, your family or others. That’s the simplest answer I can give, because that’s where I am in my life.

What are some key characteristics that you think every leader should have?

One, you have to know what you’re doing. You have to have a purpose, a vision, and a goal—something you’re working toward. If a leader says they’re a leader but has no direction, no goals, and is just wandering, you need to turn the other direction and run. So, the first thing is vision.

Next, you want to look at the person themselves. How are they showing up? Are they consistent? Do they do what they say they’re going to do? When you’re leading people, they are trusting you with their lives. It might be their finances, their resources, whatever it is. So, are you accountable? Do you have integrity? These are crucial.

Finally, pay attention to how they speak. I teach my daughter, and she’s seven, so if she’s getting this, we can do this too. I tell her, "Pay attention to the words coming out of someone’s mouth, but also listen beyond the words." That’s how you know what kind of leader they are. As a leader, how you speak to yourself is how you speak to others. It doesn’t matter if you try to hide it—it comes through. When you really listen to someone, you can understand their spirit, their mind, and how aligned they are.

What would you say was your greatest challenge in leadership?

Learning to lead myself was my greatest challenge. It was the hardest because I had to learn, and I continue to learn, how to lead myself. When I was in the military, I was very young—straight out of high school. I was still attending university, so I joined as a reservist. During that time, you're still shaping who you are in your 20s and 30s. Being in such a male-dominated space, I initially adopted a more masculine style of leadership. It wasn’t until later in my military career that I really began to understand who I was and my own leadership style.

Of course, I can’t take all the credit. Along the way, I had mentors, guides, and others who supported me on this journey, helping me build my leadership, communication, and teamwork skills. A key turning point was when I started to shift how I communicated with myself; that change flowed into how I communicated with the students I trained in the military. It changed my language, my energy, and my desire for them to succeed.

Many top coaches, like Myron Golden, for example, talk about holding faith in their mentees or students, creating a space for them to grow. I had to learn to do that too. It started small and grew over time. Why? Because I began looking at them from a higher perspective—not seeking perfection or demanding things be done a certain way, but holding space for their potential. That way, they feel empowered, thinking, “Wow, she believes in me. I’m going to give 100%, do my best, and that will be enough.”

If they need help, I ask, “Great! Where do you need help? How can I support you?” I weave belief into their journey, helping them build belief in themselves.

As a leader, to do that, you have to know yourself. You have to put in the work. The hardest challenge for me in a leadership role was learning to lead myself, figuring out what kind of leader I wanted to be, and continually growing from that—not remaining stagnant or lost.

What would you say is the importance of spending time building culture in a team?

Well, it's everything because if the culture is not there, the people are not going to be there. And if the people are not there, you don't have a business. People want to stay where things are working for them. Yes, there's always that 5% or 1% that are there just for the paycheck, but many are there for the experience. When they step into your sphere of influence, whether they’re working online or in the office, that company culture is key—not only to the individuals but also to the team as a whole in working together.

For example, I work with some people primarily online. I don’t meet or speak with them every day, but I know the work gets done. Does that mean I’m not encouraging or motivating them? No, I do challenge them because everyone needs to be healthily challenged in order to reach the next level. I have respect for them, and in turn, they respect me. We recognize that there’s a business relationship, but at the end of the day, the work we’re doing is about mutual growth.

The key is that you’ve earned their respect, worked harmoniously, supported them, and made them feel part of the culture. So when they leave, they take a part of that culture with them. They might still think of you, perhaps recommend you, or even ask, “Do you need support in this area? How can I help?” You never know.

If you came across a leader who was having difficulty motivating or engaging their employees or their team, what would be your suggestions to them?

First, take a look at yourself. What kind of team do you want? Do they understand your goal and vision?

If you visit private schools, you'll notice their mission and vision are almost like a business plan. Students are familiar with the mission, and when they walk through the halls, there are signs that say, “You are a leader” or “I am here to lead with grace and strength.”

When you enter a company, they also have a mission and vision, but most people don’t read them, so they don’t know what they are. If people understand the vision and mission, it becomes their own. That’s where I focus—there’s a high chance they either don’t see or don’t know what the vision or mission is. If they don’t align with it, they won’t align with you, and that creates tension. You can’t get 100% effort from them if they don’t understand the vision and mission. And I don’t mean pushing them to burnout; I mean doing their best—showing up, taking accountability, having integrity, and collaborating with others. We will all disagree at some point, but we need to do so respectfully.

The first two things I assess are leadership and the people in place. Are they qualified for their roles? Just because someone holds a leadership position doesn’t mean they can lead.

You have to figure out if these people need training. Do they know what they’re doing? Do they actually want to be there? Sometimes the leader might be the only one qualified, but are they ready for the role? And I’m not just talking about academic qualifications—those are important—but also soft skills. Beyond that, you need to evaluate the business itself. How is it growing? All the moving parts matter, but I focus on these three areas first: the people, the leadership, and whether there’s a shared vision and common goal. That’s what will trickle down. If those elements aren’t there, everyone will be doing their own thing, and it won’t work cohesively.

What were some of the things you valued in your corporate role?

I used to work in corporate, and year after year, the company was consistently ranked among the top 10 best places to work. I won’t mention their name, but I retired from that position after many years. One of the key reasons they were so successful was that people treated each other with respect and value. They supported one another. There were training programs, although not constantly, and even the leaders seemed more relaxed. At the time, I was an Executive Administrator, supporting four VPs and their teams—about 60 people in total—and I was the lead, so it was a lot! But everyone was clear on the direction, and they were very supportive, always checking in to make sure I was doing well.

If something wasn’t going the way it needed to, it only took a simple conversation to resolve it. I never felt insecure or afraid. It was more like, “No worries, this is an easy fix. Now I understand how to pivot.” We all face challenges in our careers, whether we’re transitioning to a new role or learning how to manage the team we have. But when you have someone in your corner to help guide you, it makes things much easier.

There were many cultural elements that demonstrated this openness. We were very inclusive and open-minded. I also had the chance to train some of the staff to be leaders, ensuring they understood how to communicate effectively with each other. By doing things like that, we fostered more unity and better understanding. For me, as a leader, it’s crucial to build those kinds of relationships.

In what ways have you seen or do you see the impact of gender in leadership?

Even now, I’m still in a male-dominated industry in many respects, but things are changing. One of the reasons I love coaching women is because they often need just a bit of support and encouragement to fully realize their potential.

I do a lot of consulting, and many of the women I work with hold very powerful roles. They’re not only learning how to do the work, but also how to become the leaders they’ve always wanted to be. I offer the same support to men, but they’re generally less likely to seek it out. Women, on the other hand, are more inclined to reach out for a coach, mentor, or advocate. I’ve heard it directly from them—they value that relationship.

When it comes to gender, I’ve noticed that women often lead differently, with a greater tendency to consider various perspectives. They’re more likely to focus on consensus and thoughtful consideration.

I’m not saying one leadership style is better than the other; they’re just different. I love it when those styles are merged. Looking at it holistically, we all have the opportunity to grow. When men and women work together, that’s what I would call harmony in leadership.

Was there anything that you wish someone would have told you before getting into a leadership role?

Early in my career, I definitely wished I had more support. In terms of having a leader guiding and grooming me to become a strong leader, I didn’t have that; I had to learn on my own. When I first joined the military, one of my peers—someone I didn’t initially recognize as a source of help—actually gave me my first John C. Maxwell book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, along with The Art of War by Sun Tzu. He said, “You need to read this.” He taught me a lot, and the interesting part was that he wasn’t in a leadership position. We were the same age, but he was more focused on business and leadership studies, and he shared that knowledge with me. He provided a lot of support along the way, which was incredibly valuable because I also had to learn how to build allyship.

Later, when I did an element transfer from the army to the navy after five or six years, I was on my own. It was the foundational lessons I had learned earlier that helped me. I did have support from my peers and allies, which made the transition smoother for the team. However, having a mentor in that environment—someone asking, “What are your goals? Where do you see yourself?”—would have made a real difference.

Looking back, having someone point out the opportunities available, or simply encouraging me as part of a team, would have been invaluable. I think it’s crucial for any organization to focus on developing new people as leaders, regardless of whether they plan to stay long-term. Don’t worry about whether they’ll leave or not—just focus on building leaders. The seeds you sow will eventually bloom.

What are you driven by?

I am driven by the God within my heart. It’s like a source of fuel for me. I’ve come to a place where I fully recognize that trying to do everything in your own strength is extremely difficult.

But when you look inward and build that relationship with the divine, life becomes much easier. It’s like the branches of a tree—you begin to connect with others more naturally, just like how tree roots grow deep and intertwine with the roots of other trees. They communicate with each other in ways we don’t always see, and if you understand nature, you know this. The fruit a tree bears eventually returns to the earth, constantly replanting and rejuvenating the cycle. For that to happen, there’s a life-giving substance within the tree. The tree simply exists, growing as tall as it can, enduring the weather, and fulfilling its purpose.

When I connect with the divine within, when I connect with God, life becomes easier. I’m doing a lot of work, but I don’t feel drained, if that makes sense. Yes, I do have support—I won’t lie. There are people who help me, and they’re part of my team.

With podcasting, the live sessions I do, and my daughter’s 100-day challenge—which involves a lot of recording—there’s always something going on. I review leadership literature every week, host "Blessing Your Business" events, and run various programs. There's a lot of recording, plus meetings, serving on a board, and homeschooling my daughter. She’s around all the time, so we’re constantly working together, intertwining, and flowing in harmony. But it only works because God fuels, drives, supports, and strengthens my spirit. That’s how I’m able to show up and give 100%, offering my best.

Connect With Delisa at faithandsparklesworld.com